I realized last night that the countdown til I leave for Africa is nearly in the teens.

This knowledge made me extremely anxious, almost to the point of nausea. I'm not sure why I got so scared, but I was suddenly very aware of the enormous changes approaching me. 

I've gotten so accustomed and happy with my routine. Who I talk to in the morning, who and what I see and do in the afternoon, and fun activities at night and late night phonecalls. 

I mean, once I get to Africa, I won't really even be able to talk on the phone! 

I was thinking about group cement today. What holds people together when they're not within proximity? What makes a person memorable? What makes a person missed? Or their absence felt? Conversely, what makes a person "expendable" (I say this just as a term to describe it)?

Sure, I'm funny and whatever, but wonder if I don't resonate, and I go away and everyone forgets about me? Yes, yes. I'm being irrational. I'm also fishing for reassurance.